Got home about half an hour ago frm aunt's place. ate steamboat again at aunt's house for lunch.as for dinner,had chicken wings and the delicious sweet and sour soup. hahaz. didn't get scolded today hahaz. guess aunt in good mood lohz hahaz..

sigh. its new year eve yesterday..and poor me..had a small argument with my dad.sigh..he wanted me to help out to work at the coffeeshop which i don't want cause i seriously want to do well in school, i don't want my school work to be affected. and if i help out at the coffeeshop, by the time i finish school and go to the shop i will be super tired to even work. and is like i have to handle with the cashier thing..waa..if anything wrong with the money..i will be in serious trouble loh..and my family is like quarelling over money matters..sigh..i don't want to get involved..dad don't get what i want and he is forcing me to do what he wants me to do..im told him that i don't want but he say what "bao da" he want me to "bao da" by helping out. and know what he say? he said...work for money is important or go to church important..i said...why do u drag church into this problem again..he said..see everytime i say church u not happy.but the fact is the working and the "bao da-ing" is so different from going to church loh..and then we argue till we drag the past into the prob..like the canning all that..but know what my dad say..he said who ask you so KL that why that man whacked you.my heart sank,my dad did not even protect me did not even take care of me.now he is telling me that i am KL that y that man whacked me like a mad man.i answered him saying..as u know ALSO..that man is unreasonable..then my dad continue saying im KL that y i got into it. i was just a small little girl then,so is it all my fault for all that canning i've got?is it all my fault for being such a innocent girl then?is it all my fault that i do not have a good character?dad did not even take care of me for the past 13-14 years..he don't even know what kind of daughter he got..he don't even know what my likes and dislikes..he don't even know what im doing now..he don't even know what am i studying about..i did not even complain anything about that..i'll take it that he got to work to take care the family and that is y he is in taiwan.and he got another family over there..i did not even hate the other party..i did not even hate him for all the past suffering i went through..i did not even hate anything he did.and i did not even hate him for what he said.can u believe it,my dad wanted to disown me when i was in sec 1-2.i did not hate him.i still yearn for him to come back home every year.i still wants to see him.i still love him so much.i stil call him dad.and from the time he reach singapore till now,he did not even say anything good about me..did not even encourage me..like my test..i was studying in front of the tv..he said he wonder how did i do in my test..different people have got their different way of studying..and i really did well afterall..eventhough i was watching the televison while revising..he don't trust me..he says i "pai chi"the tay family which i DON't.he say i got things against the family...which i really don't..says i have a bad character..am i really such a bad person that he say?my character is that bad?i thought i've changed for the better?or did i change for the worst?

yesterday..everyone was at my house.for reunion dinner..thought everything will go on fine which it did not..everyone is like against my da gu..why cant they just sit down and talk things out in a proper manner instead of scolding?i just think that the ic thing and the tomb thing is totally 2 different thing..well im still the younger generation wan..cant say anything..but what they says affect my grandma..affect her so much..which in the end coz of grandma it affected me coz i dun want my grandma to be in the situation wherby her children are all quarelling.and grandma feel so sad that she cried can.sigh..i hate it so much to see grandma cry.she is already my grandma and she still got to worried so much.so long nv see grandma smile and laugh..just now she finally did...after i said something..eh which i forgot haahz.

dad is still not home.wonder what time he is coming home..he is still working at the coffeeshop..called him..talk less than one min he say.i working bye bye...likdat only can..we did not even see each other for like one whole day.don't think he miss me the way i miss him..sigh..

happy new year everyone..

just got home about 2 hours ago.heez.the weather is like so HOT now.cant take the heat manz.

today woke up kinda late haahz..at 7am.i am tired.dragged myself to school.ahah..i was in a rush till i forgot to bring my landyard -tag- the -tag- means that im the student from the school and i got to use the -tag- to tap at the card reader for my attendence to be marked.but unfortunatly i left it at home hahaz.

had my class test..hmm..wasn't that difficult but i was so stucked at one of the question about the three distribution channels,the advantages..i did not really studied that part.i only read through sia. then i almost forgot the five funtions of the sales or marketing department, i was so scared that i will lose marks.i close my eyes and try to remember..which i eventually did!hahhaz..God is good.

well.today i was a little upset over this classmate of mine.i cant take it that he is acting gu liang wherever he goes. he talk he eat all so gu liang..he is more gu liang than i am worz.sigh..and he talks...manz..bet most guys wana bash him up.why cant he be a little more like guy?he was born to be a guy not a girl.and he walk like horse...stamping his feet on the ground.well..i have no choice but to raise my voice at him to tel him to walk properly.well he continued walking like a horse still.sigh..can someone please help him!!!tell him so many times to be more like a man.to talk like a man.to behave like a man.but..he don't listen..when he gets bullied..he felt sad..but all this is created by he himself. he knows that people will sure look down on him..disturb him..sigh...why is he likdat?aRgHh..

recently i felt that some people are super sensitive..get hurt so easily..sometimes my reaction may cause people to feel sad..but they have mistaken me...i don't look down on people or wad.or my face cause them to feel this way?if i am hard on people..some say im being hostile..if im friendly with people..i feel that im being taken for granted.i don't want to "fall down" again..

waiting for my dad to come home from sim lim tower..hungry.........he so long de.....*YaWn*

yesterday dad flew back from taipei.haa..and his beloved daughter and son went to the airport to fetch him home. waited at the airport till my kar wan to ji liao haha! hmm..know what dad bought for wilson and i? one whole set of computer worz..with flat screen and new keyboard and the mouse so nice worz.haha! my dad is so great! hahaz. i love him so so so much!haha!

tomorrow got class test sia..and i already studied le.just finish studying only.haha.its quite fun to study right in front of my television hahaz.

as for my school, the days i spent in school..well im getting used to having irritating people around me..all i need to do is to have a big heart..to.. tolerate..hahaz...

hmm..later gonna read my daily devotion book.hmm..gonna share with cg on saturday..haha!need to refresh again..gotta start reading Bible again..i've lost track on where i stopped..okie..this year is the year to start being more mature in my spiritual walk with God...i think i seriously need God to guide me lohz..if not i will die...die in the hands of the worldly people hahaz..

sighhhhh..yesterday went to aunt house to take allowance..get scolded again..sigh..i don't mind being scolded if i did something wrong. but i just hate is so much when i got scolded when all she loves was to scold me. sigh. am i a person that is always wrong?what have i done? she came to my house last week..and well i took allowance from her as usual.. and she raised her voice saying so loud that i owe her money.i said..that's is only the bus fare that my dad have to return to her. then for the allowance my dad had already given to her.then she raise her voice again..at my house somemore..saying i owe her my school fees...my uniform all that money i owe her. in my heart..im boiling..i feel like giving her 10+++ pieces of my mind.. i was soooo soo angry with her..her words are so...YUCK! she thinks i like to use her husband's money to pay for my needs?my dad aren't around..if he is around, would i even look for her?would i even want to see her..words are so cheap..she always says..whatever i need..if she's able to help she will..same to her husband..but then,why do she complain so much when she had helped..i mean her husband helped with the fees all that..all she does was to grumble..was to scold..was to mai yuan.. and all i did was to keep quiet..well. keep quiet..but not totally..hahaz.. when she was at my hse..she raised her voice,im angry..i told jan abt it..and that unreasonable aunt was not happy..so she scolded me yesterday at HER house..but why she don't scold me at MY house?she want to save her mian zi ma!i totally dislike talking to her..btw..this woman don't talk,she scream de..is she a little screw loose?sigh..

going school tmr..wonder how my day will go.......weeeeeeeeee..........

weee!!im finally here lohz.heez.know why i so long never blog?coz my computer abit down.think the "heart"dying le.waiting for my dad to come back to singapore to save it.hahaz.

hmmz.this week..been alittle not so good and not that bad too.ahaz.but still i got loads of stuffs to say about people in my school.indeed,some are totally sigh..playful,childish and they seems like they are like so free..to even disturb people that they don't even know..sigh..and i was like tolerating them..till the limit where i can no longer tolerate..i scolded them..gave them a piece of my mind.well.they are the MALAYS.sigh..began to have bad impression on malays..i told them to leave my groups of friends and i alone just go away..but they din want to.they carry on acting SISI!coz sigh..one of my friend is a gay..so they are trying to be funny with him la..but he was sitting just beside me..and they came and crowd aroud us loh!i was like ARGHHH...told them in a better way..they don't listen..so i talk in a manner where i want to really get them into big trouble..know wad i say?i said:i want to see your class adviser now.and you guys know what..he run away!!!see..wad a coward..dare to disturb people with his group of 7 and more friends..and when i say i want to see the class adviser..they went off!this gay friend..really..ma fan loh..worst..want to have peace during lunchtime oso cant sia..people that the gay don't know..came to our table and disturb...i was staring at them..i was waiting for them to go..telling myself..if they carry on..they're gonna get it! MAN!!i really HATE the way they do things..the way they treat others loh..see i small in size EZ to scare me off!haha!slowly dream!i hate it so much when people likes to bully people that are in a smaller group and look EZ to be bullied!i'll shall show them what kinda person we are..and these people..sigh...they are alomost like goners...i really cant take it lehz!!ARGHHH..i ren and ren sia...i cant take it...can the school be a little more strict?can?

today had games in school during pe time..hahaz..and..i don't know why horz..i take ball the ball the go away from my hands sia..worst!!pass to wrong people..hahaz!and ah..don't know whose arm so strong...hit me and now my arm swallon.and pain sia..hahaz..

after all these times..days...i spent in school..im utterly sad of those student who behave likdat..super angry with them..but what can i do?sigh!God...strengthen mE!i need YOU!

there's this guy in my school..came to ask for my number..and i rejected him but just giving him a smile..from then on...he seems like he hates me...see me..he behave so ugly..likdat dunno kiss wad thing la..i feel that he is so childish..feel like giving him some slices of my mind..but decided just to leave him alone..if he goes overboard..i have no choice but to step into his classroom and complain to his class adviser..people like him...need to learn to respect others..and others decision..

im so sad..i don't understand why people are likdat..treating people in the bad way..thinking we are EZ to be bullied..EZ to be stepped on..why?can they just leave the school?

well..i got my test papers..i wanted full marks..but sadly..i got only 25/30...that is so sad loh..its so sad when u aim full marks when all you get is only 25..sigh...and im so upset..the others in class..copied..and they can get high marks u know!it's so unfair!!i studied loh!!!!haiz..

these days..im feeling kinda down..don't know zer mer shi hao..hai..sometimes..smiling doesn't mean everything is so fine with me can..sometime people go overboard with wad they do can..sigh..the malays...the playful ppl..the....sigh...

got test on mon...hopefully i can really get full marks loh...aRGHh...

Just got home from school.tired~today school was not very alright.cause of what?my classmates!maNn!they are like so NOISY..talk talk talk and talk talk talk.ARGHhh.i was like SHHHHHHHHHHh till i no breath.keep shhh-ing you know,and they don't listen de lehz.

they say the teacher is a sisi,say he run like sisi while he was trying to get the cleaner's help to empty the dustbin which is full of rubbish like drinks la which is NOT ALLOWED.drinks are not allowed in the class.i don't understand why people love to be against school rules.why is that so?and if they don't want to study they come to school for?making so much noise?

i don't really like being in my class.i feel like im not suppose to be there.i love my friends.every friend that i've made,they mean something in my life.they are important to me.i meet different people,people in my class,they are so different.they are not who i thought i will meet.maybe i was being put into this class because this is the year of character moulding.i believe i will be a better person after this year.heehee..and this need a lot of patience and tolerance.haha.and i know i'll learn to be patient and tolerant.

yesterday wanted to blog.but when i reached home.i am so tired to even switch on my comp hahaz.so off to bed lohz..yesterday went for Bible study at YMCA,learn about life greatest aim.and my life greatest aim is love.that is the thought came into my mind while the preacher talk abt my greatest aim in life is???.and why love has the most important value,it's because without love,all that i say is ineffective.without love,all that i know is incomplete.without love,all that i believe is in sufficient.without love,all that i give is insignificant.without love,all that i accomplish is inadequate.all i want to do was to love others.let people to be loved.but when i wanted to let a new friend of mine to feel loved and not alone,she left.i even wanted to write letters to her.letting her know that i can be her friend,she can share all her problems with me,i will be more than happy to help.but...she left...sigh..

people asks:what is Christianity?and i've known the answer.[Christianity is a lifestyle,it is a lifestyle of Love]

[Life without Love is nothing]

i still want to tell this to everyone, I Am Who I Am, I Am Who God Calls Me To Be..

The most i wanted for now is peace.i really need it so much,esp in school.hahaz

hmm.yesterday after Bible study,went to shar house!weeeee..the house the cg painted.hahaz.with so many memories there..like..the song LET IT BE....haha!and the cushions..haha!so comfy lehz..ytd i feel like im home hhaa!its so comfortable ahaha!watch vcd and ate honey baked chicken!!yummie..it taste so nice.hahaz.watch CASPER..AHHHH..when casper become human again..oh MANN~~~he is so HANDSOME!!hahaz.blue eyes..wow!wee!wee!!hahaz

and gotta go home.cause the next day i gotta go sch..ahha!well.im staying over again on friday night haha!

tomorrow im having [OFO] class test...im so excited for it!hope i can get full marks lehz haha!hope i can be one of the top 10 in class.hee.hope la.hope..its been so long since i last be one of the top ten.the last time was when i was pri 6!haha!my position was like six or seven haha!forgot hahaz.abit bo liao la.pri 6 thing now then say.ahaz.but well..im proud of it!hahaz

k lahz.gotta study liao.for test!goneeeeee...lalaalalaaaaa.....

took this picture during Mr Tay's lesson,having break.so i entertain myself again.hahaz

my day went fine today.had fun in school,not with the people in my class but my teachers.and my so called buddy..haha NELSON ONG.hahaz.well.i only like got one close friend in my pathetic class.and this friend is nelson ong loh.ahahz.we eat lunch together,go for lesson together.hahaz.all his friends walk pass..think haywire sia..please loh..this boy here is taken lehz.and i am not interested of getting one lehz.and we both are just friends,i seriously totally don't understand why people like to think the negative wan lehz.sigh.

today..during lesson,wanted to go online to do a test.on office organisation de,den horz my computer cannot go online sia.so no choice loh..share with nelson.haha.his index number is 16 i 15.haha!then we do the test together.at first 10/16 then 13/16 then 15/16..THEN..16/16..WOW..we both were like YEAH!!we did it!!haha!and i think we are the first who got it all right!hahaz.den after that i do again by myself..full marks!!wOW..PRAISE THE LORD!hahaz.God is good right..ahahaz[God is good all the time and all the time God is good]

during another lesson..don't know in the class who keep talking..or isit my teacher Mr Goh ear something wrong.but i doubt so lahz.keep talking den like got disturb by noise he cannot take it worz..he said WAA LAO Eh..i was like[hUH]my teacher ma..didn't expect this.coz it don't sound nice lahz.hahaz.but Mr Goh is indeed a good teacher.i love the way he teach..eventhough i find that he loves NAGGINg..but all is for our own good lahz.then some of the student..keep wanting to go home lehz.please loh..time table stated that school ends at 4pm loh!at 335pm they HAIYO already..eventhough teacher says that he will let us off early..but we cant demand much what.we are here to study lehz..sigh...they are in need of help sia.

hmm.tomorrow is my school's cca orientation.i am still wondering which cca i should join lehz.netball?tennis?maybe tennis?hahaz...i think tennis la..for now haha..if there is.hahaz.

tomorrow after school..gonna go help out at my uncle's coffeeshop be cashier hahaz..hopefully tomorrow weather not hot hahaz..see my uncle work till he tio half stroke..sigh..so i help..

im like so bored now..sianz....flyyyy le laaa....nitezzzzz

it's me!hahaz.im in my yellow polo tee..hahaz.im from the BUSINESS SCH!ahaaz


well.im just trying to look funny!took my classmate spec to see if this kinda spec do look good on me or not.hahz!


so it look just like that lohz.haha!


they are all my secondary school friends.my FAVOURITES!!haha!love you guys to biTTTS!!


LOOk!!it's me..when i was around sec 3 i think!haha!


Yasi and me after Christmas Celebration at Singapore Indoor Stadium!!


Cell Group Outing to Marina Bay for BBQ!!wEEeeeeee!!!

Well..going through pictures from my documents.haha.so i decided to upload some here.got more to come haha!im a zi lian type of person.more of my face will come hahahah!im just joking!haha.well..im just very happy that i finally can upload pictures together with my blog post.haha!

Just got home from aunt's place.bored~i took bus from serangoon to outram and the bus 147 is like so super warm.can you believe that im sweating like mad in the bus lohz.i spag top is like wet and i can see the wet marks siaz.so warm lehz the bus.the aircon is spoilt.sigh..i had a tough long time reaching home.i was thinking if i can just fly home into the toilet and bath with the cooling cold water!!was even thinking if i throw a whole lot of ice into the pail and splash the whole thing at myself can!the bus is just SOOOO WARM!aRGhhhH.know what i tell myself to calm myself?[it's okie,can jian fei,coz im sweating.so nevermind]haha!okie im mad.

yesterday went service and Paster preach abt Praise haa!Service was so great yesterday,everyone just praise God..keep praising God.i just love it!the prescence of God is there!

after service shar anne jason teng hong yingwei xin mike jas marv and me went east coast park!and had supper?haha!the food taste....MMMMMMM...YUMYUM.haha!its the duck soup..eh..i dunno wad soup la.verey nice can le lahz.haha!den we just joke and joke..Laugh like mad ytd.i laugh till i cry can!its my first time sia.i nv laugh till i cried b4 lehz haha!it was so fun yesterday!haha!after eating..we went walking,walked to Bedok jetty.aahhaa!!and we sat down and chit chat..talk abt a lot of things and laugh like crazie..cold jokes..and wad chicck pang thing..haha!and what shar had gone tru b4!haha..she is so brave sia.if it was me i could have dunno loh..dunno do wad already!!!haha!

then we chat till ard 3++ 4 i think and we all went home..for me,i went to stay over at shar's place haha!her bed is like..WOW..so comfy sia!i slp till like 12++1 in the noon haha!!had KFC for branch..haha!yum yum..haha!

im going for cell group later!!weeee!!i love cell group meetings..haha!!

hellos.just got home from school.hmm today school starts at 8.hahaz.ends at 3.wow!early right!haha.today in school like no lesson like that sia.got a don't how many hours of talk that make me eventually doze off on my friend's shoulder.opps..the talk is about welcoming the pioneers of the school.haha which is me!haha!

while i was fast asleep,i was actually got awaken up by a girl who is sitting behind me.MAN!words that comes out from her mouth are totally BAD!she needs help man!she is in lack of vocab?or her english language is just too TERRIBLE?she just keep scolding all those dirty ugly filthy words.i hope she did notice that i keep turning back and look at her.all i want her to know is that the words that comes out are so not appropriate.but well.in the end,i just ignore her.

after school,decided to go home..walk to my school bus stop.met a bunch of playful students from my school larz.they walk towards my friend jasmine and wanted to take a picture of her using their camera phone.then i was on the phone i did not care much abt anything that is happen in front of my prescence.but den,someone tap at my shoulder,saying hi my friend wants to know you.i just stared at him and look away as i was talking on the phone.then my bus came..i walk pass them,one guy again,say hi..and i stared at him..he just smile sia.i was not very happy about their playful behaviour.if i was not on the phone then,i might even scold them.know what they do,the were smoking outside school while the school rule was set to be that noone is allow to smoke there.and there's a lot of them going against the rules.den,they put one cigratte at a lighter which is filled with gas la.and den the lighter melt and all the gas came out splashing can.can one guy go and light it and fire came out lahz.den dunno wad la..something splash on a guy la..den he keep wiping himself..should be the gas la..haha!or wad la..dunno la.haha.sigh..they really need help lehz.

today in school i spot a handsome dude sia.haha!at first i did not notice him because im busy looking for places to sit and eat.haha!but den,i turn and look!haha!a guy looking at my direction..haha.den i dun care la..den buy food haha!the same handsome guy looking sia.haha!i was telling my friend handsome lehz..haha.well i just praise people mah..good wad haha!he is handsome indeed..den was sharing with everyone abt this handsome dude haha!some say he act cool haha!but i like his hair haha!nice!!opps..well..giving compliment doesn't mean anything okie.haha.so whoever who is reading don't go and think haywire haha!the guy is the only guy i think look handsome in my school as for now haha!he should join the Glamour quest sia.haha!

yeah!!tomorrow no need to attend school haha!isnt is so GREAT?haha!!don't have to wake up early haha!!

Got home from Bible study at YMCA haha!im at Laying Foundation already!!finally!!at first,im only at Getting started!!wow!haha!

hmm.wanted to blog yesterday.but my computer is a little sot.i click publish post and it did not publish.sigh.long entry lai de lehz.well.its all about school again,i seriously,totally don't like some of my classmates,i totally don't understand the goodness of lying.seriously speaking,i hate people who lies.liars don't go to heaven.and some love to make so much noise in class.but today,the class is a little quiet.Thank God for a little peace in class.well,i hate problems that people do but not the people larz.haah!

recently i met many people.i notice that not everyone is what i think they are.some are like not acting their age.some are totally...sigh..not everyone can be what i think they have to be.i just got to accept who they are and be patient with them.noone is perfect..

i've got used to the life in school now..meeting those wu liao ren..used to it.having classmates that love to play ard not paying attention,im just trying to get use to it hahaz.

when to xin er house this afternoon after school..school ends at 2 haha!went her place, she did her first attempt to cook a dunno wad porridge.haha.den im like so tired.went to sleep at her double decker bed haha!her bed is like...soooo COMFY sia.i love her bed so much that i dun wanna get up lehz ahah.but cannot lahz haha.need to go bs haha!

take care people!

heez.just got home half an hour ago.hahaz.from where?Tampines!haha!nowadays im really going ard Tampines..

went bedok reservoir.to do what?jogging!!haha.i very long never exercise le worz.went with xin and anne.i tell you what,anne can really run non-stop!well.as u can see,im the first to stop.haha!but i already not bad le worz.a person who did not exercise for a year can actually run almost half the reservoir.that's not bad kayz.haha!and i really run worz.eventhough im telling myself im dying.haha.the reservoir is really BIG horz.haha.xin run till she headache.haha!den we sat at the pathway haha!and under the hot sun,well i got tanned!!haha.abit only lahz.eh,better than nothing worz.hhaa!!but the weather is not good lehz.for a little while it drop little drops of rain.for a little while its so sunny haha!and its really windy.i just love the wind haha!!

im hands are like aching lehz.wondering how come not my leg?haha!

hmmz.went Tampines,xin er house.looking at her packing her whole lot of....erm...RUBBISH?no lah..things loh haha!now,finally her room is more like a place where its suitable for human!haha!well im just joking larz.hahaz

was on the webcam with dad.its so cold over taiwan.saw my baby sister,ru xin.she is so super cute manz.arGhh i wanna carry her lahz.can she just fly back?haha!well..dad is coming back on the 5th of Feb.haha!im gonna fetch him at the airport.see,he got such a good daughter that love him so much loh.i know he love me too larz.coz..he almost say it whenever we are on da phone haha!

i wanna eat delifrance!!xin xin..when????????hahaa!!

sometimes i really hate it when people don't be responsible for what they have to do.do they know this word call responsibility?

it's been almost 3 months++ ever since gong gong went up to heaven.but i dun see any tombstone at his "place"its was said that they will get it done when the soil is harden and it is already harded.but why not yet?coz of somebody loh.nv sign thing lahz.well i not very sure isit that la..sigh..[these days been thinking abt my gong gong worz.i miss him so much,took xin hp to view at his pictures..i really miss him so so so so much..his laughter..his jokes..his blur blur eyes like huH?..i miss them all lorz.]

Be Blessed everyone!!

It's Saturday!haha.don't need to go to school!hahaz.woke up ard 1++2pm.hahaz.i'm like so bored at home.there's nothing for me to do.nothing at all sia.hahaz

yesterday.went to school!i was late for like 15mins!know WHY?that bus 31 from Tanah Merah Interchange,is full!and the second bus 31 is oso FULL!den came one double deck bus 31.the students ah!!really make me angry can!!the first level of the bus is fully packed but the second is like soooooo EMPTY!and they so not considerate.everyone is going to the same school and everyone need to be there early.they just do not move!i wait till i scared my Class Adviser mark me late okie.i wake up so early i don't want to let people just marked me loh.

well.for people who know abt this guy who kept pestering me.haha.he stopped finally!haha!well.he sms "jessie"haha.ppl u know lahz.ppl who i told the story to.["jessie"]haha!

one thing i don't like abt my uniform..will always zhao gen.sigh.must beware all the time haha!

yesterday.went church after school.man.the journey ah..so long..from Tampines to Boonlay lehz.haha.meet xin and janice at Tampine Station Control.long journey.haha.den to entertain myself again,i took picures.hha!well.i actually forgot how to use jan's hp to take pic sia.haha.then,reach church,had dinner.haha.ate spaghetti.WOW!ytd..service was great!i love it..i took notes.like:what is faithfulness?[Faithfulness is the ability to control my fear]what is meekness?[Meekness is not Weakness,Meekness is the ability to control my anger]i must really learn to control my fear and anger this year.it's time to grow a level higher in my spiritual walk too.i really want to be a CGL one day!!haha!

im gonna have dinner at marina bay with my cg!!haha.wow..!!yum yum!

-take loads care everyone-

hee.im home!just finish eating egg tarts and bread talk bread haha!guess it will be my dinner.hahaz.yum yum..shoooo full...haha.

today school went great!haha.today i tot i will be alone..worst without my one and only friend more alone sia.sigh..but then i was not.God is good all the time and all the time God is good..He answered my prayer worz.haha.God blessed my day,let me not be alone.let me be happy.haha!and i've made more frenz today!!and they are from my permanant class de.haha.they are so kind loh.starting when we go to our new class,i was alone..i was in the different class with my malay fren.so we got seperated sia.haha.then my new frens came to smile at me..and ask me what my name and they intro themselves to me..asking me to join them for tea break and lunch and join them in the group in class haha.and they are so funny..we keep laughing all the time..haha.i made 6 new frenz ahaha.isnt that great?haha!Thank God for this!!!haha.

i just gotta know that my class got one gay sia.and he got bf de lehz!!oh my gwash!!!he even showed my frens the sms that his"bf"send to him.all of us,the girls,in the cafeteria were like"eeeeeeeeee!!"oh no!!and his behaviour!its totally no good lohz.sigh..but he look like a good boy and look str8 not crk8.sigh..den sadly..he is a crk8.he is a good guy i can see.hahaz.

okie.back to the guy who sms me call me ytd wan.he today sms me call me and hang again!!!i felt so irritated and i feel that he is pestering me.sigh.but i dun wanna show my anger.i just hope that he knows theres limit to things.he sms me saying:y u look so fustrated and stress today?isit coz of me?erm.y dun likdat?ltr i treat u to a lunch.den after sch treat u again to cheer u up?..and i clever enough i din reply.coz i dun think there's a need!i stress or wad oso no need to have lunch wad.wadsmore its my prob not his.and i was not even STRESS and FUSTRATED lehz.and den,he sms me again..saying:pls reply?can i treat u a meal?i wan to see u smile.ur that malay fren ask mi to call u but i wan to help u save money so sms u.[see?everything is out,he is just trying to find stupid reason to ask me out for a meal,wad stress wad fustrated,i was not even feeling that way.i was just not smiling and was waiting for class adviser to tell me the class im been posted to!!!!!wad see me smile,he wan me to smile i smile to him mehz?well i always smile as all my frenz knows that lehz.he is wierd man..haiyo!he sae he nv call me,wanna help to save my hp money!he gave me five miss calls just today loh!!!!!!!!!!!is he mad?he called my hp in the morning at 6.for wad?he send 2 sms to say shang ke le where are u?do i have to report to him?i wasnt even his fren.i nv even talk to him.not even know his name.well he told me his name ytd.haha!and during my lesson time he keep calling.arGhh..FIVE miss calls just in one day!opps..it just ended up 10 miss calls in a day abt 10mins ago..haha!!he is terrible..sigh..but well..forget it.

sigh.cant stand it lahz.nowadays i've been using words like aie..not good sia.abit rude liao.must watch le.okie..gotta end here..

muack!!

Got home half an hour ago.from wherE?Tampines!!haha.these days,i've been hanging ard Tampines Mall together with xin xin.hahaz.

today,woke up at 7am.went to get prepared and left my house at 745am-750am likdat.reached Outram Mrt station at ard 8am.got into the train at abt 803am.reached Tanah Merah interchange at ard 830am.the bus came at ard 835am lahz.reached school at 745am likdat haha.im early for school today!hahaz.school was great.but..not the people.actually afew only lahz.i really loves all my teacher that is incharge of my temporary class.they are just so nice loh.but some people in my class just like to make fun of one of my teacher.and im so sure that he knows it,he just continue with the positive attitude,carry on smiling.while the students is laughing at him.the students are really too much.sigh.i've been in the same class with them for 3 days.only know abt 6ppl.1 close fren nia.den..i dun even know other guys or girls.den....while the whole business school students are at Multi Purpose Hall[mph]for a concert.ppl sing song in chinese..the guys make those booooo sound can.and its so loud..why cant they just stay quiet and respect the ppl that is performing for welcoming the first year student?why ner?sigh.after 2hrs of performance,i was abt to go tampines to meet xin xin..den i was walking out of my seat.sia la....got one guy approached me sia..my class guy la.but i don't know him de.completely stranger.and he got no reason to ask for my number loh.but that time i act blur..i turn to my fren i keep sayin huh..but!!!but this fren..dun get my hint..she just say:oh..he wants your number..i was like..ERRR!haha!oh..okie..[acting blur] den i give lohz.sigh..i dun wan to give wan can..aRGHH...den i met xin..went to eat..den watch movie..well..we kinda lag behind,we watched the incredibles.haha..so funny and so interesting!!haha so nice...haha..den that guy called..my hp was in slient mode.so i don't know that someone called me..and he call thrice and sms like more than thrice..sia la..know wad he called me,he called me sweet.well its the same meaning as sweetie lahz..YUCK!i don't even know him.and den..he called me again and i sense the vibration so i answered the call.know what the guy say?he says:ur hp incoming call free?i would like to ask u things abt school..den i say:oh..so what u wan to ask abt sch?he ended that call sia!den sms me..same thing lahz.but i was thinking[The whole class has got the teacher's handphone number.why would he choose to call me instead of the teacher?]why????sigh..well i don't care him lahz.luckily tomorrow i will go to my permanant class liao.hopefully he not in the same course as me..haha!i know im being bad..but i don't want guys like him to interrupt my life in sch.got one more guy,i was thinking he man or not sia.i was walking behind of him..den looking for my fren.den he ahem.[all he wans is to be of me]i was like thinking..can u give way?other guys sure give way wan loh.not him sia.the malays are even better den him..they will say:ladies first and let me walk in front of them.but jus not him loh.sianz.haha!but i dun care lahz.haha.

i find that the food in my sch...taste abit...not nice lahz.haha..oppppssss..hahaz

ytd got one of my fren called me si charbo lehz..ah lian lai de..cant blame..but i use my positive attitude to reply her saying:eh..dun likdat call me lahz..haha!and we both laughed..haha.

today..school went fine.tommorrow,actual lesson starts haha!

-love you all-
-muacks-

it's Monday!haha.it's my first day at school.haha.school starts at 9am today hahaz.the moment i stepped into my school i was like wow..its really big and got loads of people around hahaz.i head up to the don't know wad hall.to register that im there.haha.you guys know what?for my school,we just need to tap our ez-link card at the card reader to show that we attended school.like punch card likdat.hahaz.the card readers are at everywhere in the school.hahaz.

today went to my temporary class.sigh.the ah lians are all there lohz.some act lians.some indian ah lian.one of the lian,don't know she come school is to show she lian or just trying to be funny.then one of my new friend thinks that she is kinda lame lahz, then i think she keep staring at that ah lian.den that ah lian stared back like want to fight sia.i faster siam.i den dun wan to get involve in childsplay sia.hahaz.and you know what,the school is like so wonderful,but you see after school the bus stop....MAN!its polluted man.with smokers.got girls somemore lehz.spoil image sia.

i went to school with my super long skirt sia.look so nerdy.hahaz.and then my super short hair.well i cut my hair at a cheap price.10 dollars nia hahaz.imagine my super long long nice hair..and changed to super short not as nice as my long hair..i've indeed chou hua myself lahz.well go to school no need to be so pretty.but i see the girls in my school got put make up.mascara.draw the eyebrown till so thick.and skirt so short lehz.now i cant wait for my long hair to come back hahaz.my class adviser say can put light make up wor.aiya nv say earlier i put some blusher la.today i nv put anything on my white face worz.haha.don't know got scare ppl mahz haha.

my school seems to be like got a lot of malays lehz..and they are very playful wan.my fren walk pass..they whistle.i was like,[saying in my heart]hello u calling who?dog?cat?or wad?so rude lehz.those people just need to be disciplined.and my class has only about 5 guys and the rest of the 15 are all girls haha!but is only the temporary class lehz.hopefully i won't be in the same class as the ah lian..hopefully all my class people all guai guai wan.haha.then i will go to school super happy sia.now okie loh..happy also.but i just hate it when people trying to play ard when its time to get serious.

i was so quiet today.no friend.i choose the wrong people to mix with.i choose the malays.sigh..they just keep talking among themselves and then when i went to talk to them,no response.i was like talking to the wall.so i was thinking that thursday kuai dian lai.haha.so i can change class.make more friendly but not racies friend..they like racies sia..sigh.we also human what.different skin colour only mahz.why likdat?sighhhh..

during lunchtime.i was so not zi zai.so i dun have the appitite to eat.i did not eat my favourite food..know wad's that?chicken rice loh.my fren ask me to eat at least something so i bought watermelon and honeydew.that was my breakfast and lunch.for my dinner..yum yum.i ate burger king haha.well..my dinner starts at 250pm..haha!!i cant wait to know more people..more good people i mean.

i really like my school worz.haha.everything is like so great.we called ourself the business school student.and we are from ite college east.sia la..college worz.haha!one more thing,my class adviser very kind and good worz.she is Mrs Ng,was from ite clementi actually..she ask for transfer because she like ite college east hahaz.she is so friendly.she treat us like her friend lehz.haha.she is teaching book keeping.but i cant take that.im not good with numbers.so i cant get into that course.i was thinking doing social and grooming..but i decided to put at my second choice.my first choice will still be multimedia design and publishing[mdp].today,the class i was in is the first class in office skills worz.haha good right.haha.Thank God.but well..everything was fine today.noone disturb me.haha.peace worz.haha.

tomorrow im gonna tour ard the school haha.cant wait to know more about my wonderful school hahaz.well..that's all for now..

-take care people-
-be blessed-

My pLan fAiled..

went out with xin for the try out yesterday.haha.it was quite easy to go to my new beautiful school.i'll just got to stop at Tanah Merah and take a bus to my school.ahaha..easy right?heez..after the try out.we were thinking to take one straight bus to Tampines.so we change bus.but we didn't know that we were actually on the correct bus previously.so the two blur girls went to took a bus that ended us up at bedok.haha!we were still like happy chatting away.haha!but well.its alright.i still can afford the time haha!

after that we took train to tampines..wanted to cut my super long long long hair.but the moment we get into the shop.its like so many people and we asked how long we should wait.the lady said 2hrs.wow.and in 2hrs time she is closing.well she closes at 7pm while i was there at 5pm.hahaz.so in conclusion i cant cut my super long long long hair lahz.first mission failed.

then......wanted to get black shoe for school..but..at the moment i reach the converse shop at Tampines.i hold on to the black shoe and was wondering if this shoe can anot.but decided not to buy first.wait till i go to school on mon and ask my teacher what kinda shoe must i get.so i wun waste my money but i was also worried that i might get scolded tomorrow.arGh..so second mission failed.

before i meet xin at Tanah Merah.i went to Serangoon.my second aunt's place.to do what?get my weekly allowance for me and my lazy brother.but............when i reached her doorstep.she was not home.the whole family was not home!they went to The Singapore Zoological Garden.but..they should had tell me first what.they know that i will go over to their place.but well.adult always right.whatsmore..she is doing my dad a favour to help buy passing our allowace to us weekly.so i better be good to her.if not i will get a hell from her manz.anyway.she is a....tigeress..so i went on a wasted trip.and upset Jessie left for Tanah Merah.hahaz.so..third mission failed!

all these mission i planned de can!a plan that failed.hahaz.so yesterday..just went shopping..went shopping with shar xin..and we met shelia.the Long Meng Ke Zan de Lao Ban Liang!![if you've been to the Singapore indoor Stadium on christmas eve and christmas day,you will know what im talking abt]and shar and shelia chat and chat.then we went to Starbucks.hahaz.i was hungry.so i order chocolaty muffin and what chocolate frapucinno.aiya don't how to spell hahaz.and the place was so cold..hahaz.i drank the whole lot of it.and eat the whole lot of it.and..i was having a bad stomach pain after that.and the toilet is like sooooooooo far!for the first time i walk to the toilet.den the second time..my stomach was like..dying..so pain can.i cant even sit properly.so xin and i ran to the toilet.and well..everything was settled in there.thank God for the toilet paper.coz i think that was the only cubicle left which has got toilet roll in there haha!

then shar jae and me went to meet the Fockers,haha!it ended at 2++ i was dead tired.haha.took a cab home.channel 8 was showing a horror show.i sat down with wilson and jan.watch it..well i watched before le lehz.just that i forgot the story liaoz.hahaz.

hmm.later i will be going Tampines again.to cut my super long long long hair.well its cheaper than my very own salon that i always goes..since i was in primary one..so i'll just gotta save money.im going Tampines.hahaz.

tomorrow im starting school.got the fear of getting scolded haha.how my shoe?sigh.

wondering my new hair will look acceptable to me anot.it better be lohz.haha.

-gone-

am i just worrying too much?well im just too free.for now.

7th January 2005

well.just got home.from my real late dinner.haha.with my beloved brother.hahaz.i got my pay today.so i give wilson a treat at Da Pai Dan store.at my house downstair.cost quite a lot lahz.a lot for me haha.as you know i spend by how much i get from my baobei allowance..but nvm.i use my salary hahaz.i was so hungry you guys know why?coz..i only had Pearl Milk Tea from Takashimaya for dinner sia.haha.den rush to church liao haha.i was walking alone at town today.went wisma to take my cash paid salary haha!

while eating, wilson and i was talking about guys, people like his campmates.one of his campmate told him that i called him.so wilson ask me about it,saying:how come u called *****?.i replied:huh?since when?i don't even know that i called him.which from the time i know him till now,i have never ever called him at all worz.and i told wilson..:hello,im ur sister,you got to know me for like so long..do u think i will call any of your friends for no reason?and esp for *****..will i even call?well..this person,we're like strangers.so there's no reason for me to call him lahz.and obviously that person is lying.

and something happened today!SIGH!but i don't want to say le lahz.im so so so sick of it.i think i have fear for guys now.well but not all lahz.some niaz.it's not that i think too much.coz i can see what is going on right in front of me.esp that 20-25 year old man at the bus stop.sigh.i was so scared that i keep thinking that he might stalk me.btw.i was being stalked before even without me knowing it.till that person called for me lahz,and stupid me turn and respone la.hahz.worst,few months back,some old man ask for my num at that same bus stop sia.well.in the year 2004 i met quite a num of wierd people.i think that is the cause that im so afraid now.im so scared whenever i go home alone.everywhere in the world is not safe.somemore my house here abit wulu lahz.that causes me to be like a scary mao lahz.how?im really very scared lehz.sigh.how i wish my brother everyday at home.so i feel more protected.yah but will have to wait la.sianz.now i everyday waiting for weekend.haha.so i can see wilson and then my dao sao will come..den we can chit chat haha.im looking forward to it!!!

today i went to school.inside the school i was like wow!so big!so modern.haha.bought uniform..so chou wan.i dunno how to choose than anyhow loh.den now so chou loh.sigh.must get black shoe lehz.where can i buy nice and have a good price black shoe?hmm.then buy uniform guess how much it cost?60 sia..my heart sank.so expensive.can buy one Gior jeans lehz..or two or three tops lehz.btw im mad about Gior wan.hahaz.

sigh.nowadays.i've been worrying..i scared of meeting people like this and that.i scared when i go home tio stalked or meet ti ko pek.well..i know its needless worry.and im not a born worrier.i think i need to pray more liao.which i will!it's 2005 resolution:grow a level higher in my spiritual walk with God.

while i was in service just now.saw pictures of many dead bodies.the Tsunami.man!bodies are stacking upon each other.and its left untouched.just covered.some are not even covered.and the people who are injured.oh dear..know wad..there's a man whose skull was open..can see his brian lehz.den the pic was show..the opening is real biG man..and Dr Francis said that the person need to be at the proper operating theater.but i forget wad le.in the end operate the man just right beside the drain.and many people's wound are like so big...and the moment i see the pictures i feel like vomitting.the wound is like so pain.OUCH~so big can..and yellow.the pus all that lahz.so painful.

sun has given BIRTH!!!yeah!!little DAYAN..is sooooo cute!!!hahhaa...

now xin xin helping me to find way to go to mua sch haha!thanks xin er.ni ren zhen hao.ai si ni le lahz.haha.sorry to trouble u worz.haha.i don't know anything abt simei..haha.

-fly-

Today went to my school at simei with uncle edmund.he drive me there.haha.was thinking how to go my school if i take train than bus..how ah?people help me.uncle edmund and i was like going around simei non stop.we pass by the same place 3-4 times man.his petrol..sure gone!haha.den he keep going wrong place coz he is totally not familiar with simei.we both were like..nono is here..turn here..he nono is there..den we both aiya..wrong place.haha!den we ended up talking abt his driving license is manual or auto.haha.den talk about he more familiar with manual or auto haha..my school so nice worz..haha..so many ppl..i din enter the school today..tomorrow den is my day to enter the school haha!sigh.hopefully on saturday my try out will be a good wan.haha.im gonna try to go sch all by myself..try to take bus from bedok.bus 9 to the school..dunno correct ma..sigh..hopefully correct.if not i will have to depend on the cab driver for abt a few days.

sigh.i not used to having schoolmate who is guy.haha!not used to have classmate who is a guy.more girls can ma?hopefully no lians and bengs which i think most probably will have lahz.but i seriously hope dun have lehz..later they spoil my day how..spoil my life how..haha!but nvm lah.i wun die there haha!i will show them im not ez to bully de..well if they make me boil lahz.if not i stay away better.haha.

now one more problem.i don't know where is the entrance of the sch.got many entrance lehz.so which one ner?i dun have the school map sia..hopefully i will have good teachers in school.not like my bro sch wan.sigh.my bro sch de teacher say my bro is a drug addict when he is not.sigh.some holds pride so high!my bro fair cant blame ma.if i go to his school i oso drug addict..coz im so fair as u all know..white like dunno wad..so im a drung addict lahz.sigh..tt sch..really..sigh..shall not name out the sch..

today so bored at home manz.my manager nv give me my dec pay!!!!aRGHHH...i cant cut my long long long hair!!no $$and she keep saying the person in-charge nv get back to her!!sigh..so when that person in-charge gonna get back to her.i need to get ready for sch lehz.need to buy shoe oso.sianz.how i wish my dad is back loh.so i no worries.tt manager nv pay me my earnings..howwwww???sigh..so fan..

tmr im going to sch..buy uniform..pay fees..hmm...im excited to go to sch haha!cant wait to walk in the school haha..

-gone-

dear all.im here again.bored~~been staying at home for 2 days.never go out.been watching this vcd[dou yu].wow..the actor is sooo handsome loh..and the actress is soo pretty..the handsome actor is pin chao haha!so tall so handsome haha!well he belongs to annie..right annie?hahah!!im just joking haha..hmm the show not bad la..can make me cry de.just like the korean show[endless love]haha..so sad..pin chao died in the end..sigh...well it's just a show haha..storyline..very messy lahz..fight here and there..life as a gangster..

these days..i'm wondering why people in the world are so crazy..i just received a phone call from one stupid irritating guy..who i don't even know..he got my number from somewhere and then tell me he is my fren[Jason Ng's] fren..his name is andy..and i say im sorry i don't know you.and he said..now u are talking to me..so we are friends right..i said..im sorry we are not.i don't even know who are you lohz.then you know wad this irritating person say?he sae..nor remember during november we went to sentosa..and we hold hands etc..i was like hUH?since when?den you guys know what..i almost believe that i went sentosa during november which i din..well i stm..cant rem anything sia..which is NOT A GOOD THING!haiz..i was so angry with this guy manz.hello..if im the last time jessie..i may yaya haha..play flirt with him..but now...please lah..i told him..you wan to hold my hand?wait long long..look into the mirror first..i was so angry..called me and ask me so many thing..wad sch im at..where i stay wad im doing now..all that..wad a irritating guy manz.im not being hostile here..but i really don't know him wad!then i called Jason Ng wanted to scold him..when i was about to start my scolding..i ask why u give my number away AGAIN??????jason said..huh?where got..i only got give paul[my pri sch fren]only one guy lehz.den i said who is andy?why u give..well jason is good he ask for the num and called that irritating bu zhi liang li bu yao lian de ren..saying li xiang lai..whua si jason..den the both talk..sigh..typical guys la..btw they are bengs lai de..sigh!!!i really cant take it manz..people like that irritating bu zhi liang li de andy..yuck!!say what i hold his hand!!yuck!!last time i will make fren with ppl i don't know..i was just a small girl girl..now..eventhough im only 17..i truly believe that im not like those TYPICAL OUTSIDE GIRL!stupid people like them..only like to make me boil!yuck!!i really despise people like them..so bu zhi liang li..so bu yao lian..im so angry loh.wad hold his hand.give me for free i oso dun wan.i friendly okie la..still come and irritated me..stupid..this year resolution:don't be so friendly with people i do not know.must be FIRM with my words.well i learn that recently which im being name as hostile girl..well who cares!some guys will sms me almost everyday sia.i told him that its not wise to sms everyday..i don't mind if we are friends..but friends oso dun sms everyday.well..he told me something..i shall not say it out here..[personal]haha!

people in the world are terrible..someone told me..not everyone in the world are bad is just that you have not meet the good yet.i was like ya..i always meet the bad loh.in my 17years of living..i have not meet a good one.sigh..people in my church can say good.but not everyone one is good there also.must beware too.guys in the world.eventhough they are in their twenties.i tell you.they are also like those 18 19 years old guys.same one.i met them..if not i wun say they are likdat.some 19 guys.thinking so not 19.sad man.its time to grow up and think more manly.they are e people in the world.they only like to go and club.well people at 17-18-19-20.people that i met.some are likdat.majority lahz..why cant they just do something useful?instead of wasting their life,time in those places..these places are not bad.but i believe there are many more things for them to do..better than wasting time and money there.ohh..thank God im not them..well i used to be like them haha.but not anymore.haha!for me.i have many why and why not questions to ask for ppl in the world.dou jiang le.people in the world liao..haha..but im not against them.

i really dun like people like andy!YUCKS!isnt it sad for him..first impression..BAD!haha..huai ren..ah bengs are bad..why people join gang?they are timid..they need people to help them to do wad?fight.they cant talk.sigh..they are always lack of courage..need more companion..some bengs are not bad..but..they are broken-hearted..but you know.Bible says:God heals the broken-hearted..and i was once a broken hearted..and God healed me..lians ner?same lahz.why do people smoke?relieve stress..only smoking can relieve stress mehz.?for me..listening to music..its better.why do people drink liquor?to show how sad they can be..and running away from their problem..no matter how drunk you are..the problem is still there..stay strong and face it..nothing is impossible..why do people fight?to show they are li hai.but deep down..they are not..they are cowards..they are being hurt..they think only fight can settle their problem..and it is such a silly thought they have.why do people badmouths..they are simply jealous of someone better than them lohz.why do ppl stare with anger and hatred in their eyes at others..aiya..they are jealous that other have got much more beautiful eyes than them loh..why do people use dirty ugly flithy words?they are in lack of vocab.and..they cant speak good english or chi..or another way of relieving stress,anger,etc...wow..is that a cure?why do people think so negative?they think nth is possible for them..they have got low self-esteem..they give up.well..its 2005..its time for a change!!!

-gOne-

-yAwn-woke up about an hour ago hahaz.took afternoon nap haha.today is new year's day!!HAppy NeW yEar people!!and today is sister Jeannie's wedding day!!haha..and guess what i help her to do??...im her BRIDESMAID!!haha i was shocked when she ask this favor from me..haa.i tot all i need to do was to do up the decorations..and guess who is the best man?its alvin!haha..is like a DAD bringing his daughter for her wedding!!suppose to be alan..but he's too tall haha.coz im short as you can see.hahaz.there's another couple too..and guess who that?it's marvin and jasmine..haha.jasmine look sooooo pretty today!as for marvin..still the same lahz.haha.i was so tired today..i slept ard 4 ytd..woke up at 7 to get prepared to go aunt's place and headed straight to church..haha.looking at sistaer Jeannie with her beautiful wedding gown..man!she is soooooo pretty!!and Brother zhishen..handsome..haha.their wedding picture look so funny..haha..esp that twist wan..ytd we were practising to walk on the red carpet..haha..and we must really walk realllll slow man.haha.and alvin and i was the first "couple" to walk out..i was like..very nervous..coz..everyone is looking..well..today i wore white dress..and anne's $100 heel..man..my foot hurts..haha..the heel is high..haha..i seldom wear dress wor..today exception..but it's totally not jessie loh ahaa..so i changed after the refreshment..haha..was telling jae..see..this den is jessie haha..

oh..before i forget..when the couples are walking out..haha..we all need to do a pose..and guess what marvin and jasmine posed? marvin kneeled on his knees..haha..for alvin and me..he did the manly pose den i do the girly pose..see i 17 so must gal gal..haha..

ytd while we were rehearsing..den..i think brother francis..isit?erm i not sure..was acting as pastor i think..haha..im not so sure la..announcing jeannie and zhisen man and wife..den sound crew played this song right after the announcement..WHAT!!you know u know WHAT..that song..everyone laugh..and shar..fall on the ground and laugh!!haha.well zhisen so dramatic so play tt song..so funny..haha..

today anne and kristle look so tai tai loh..so pretty..really so pretty..while going home..i called for anne and kristle..but nv ans me..till.....i shouted...tai tai!!!both turn!!hahhaahaha.....they are the pretty girls man..so beautiful..

shar wore skirt today!!and shar really look great in that!!seriously..shar should dress more girly la..haha..she look so sweet loh..shar..you really look so great can.haha..

ytd pastor preached about visions and goals..and y ppl dun set goals..firstly:ignorance.secondly:laziness.thirdly:resignation.lastly:presumption..

Pro16:9 [The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing;but the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.]Jesus is against worrying but not planning.so we gotta plan.fail to plan,plan to fail.we need to set goals in our lifes.

Pro13:16 [A wise man thinks ahead;a fool doesn't and even brags about it]i seriously think that everyone should plan their life.and goals..and pray to God about it because God has the last word.

abt tsunami..i was like..man..we are really living in the end times..tribulations..people in the world really need to be save and surrender their life to God..God is so good..God has made big changes in me in my life..and i Thank God for loving me.people..God is good all the time...and all the time God is good..trust your life to him..God's love is unconditional..thinking back..who?in the world..will love you unconditionally?only God's love...i really wish that the killerwave will ease soon...its so sad to see ppl dying ard us...

hmm..may everyone have a blessed new year!!God bless!!

-fly-

im here again..went cell group today..and its our thanksgiving cellgroup today hahaz..the sermon was great manz..keys to release my future to God..firstly:Worry about nothing..secondly:Pray about everything..thirdly:Thank God in all things..and also this[ A Champion is not someone who never fail, A champion is someone who never quits]so we must keep on keeping on.we must never give up!!

for the upcoming year2005..my resoulution for the year2005 is to study hard and stop skipping school hahaz..and grow a level higher in my spiritual walk haha..and..get into a ministy!!i wan to serve God!!

today cell group was so fun..people turn mad..laugh non-stop lohz.haha..like anne..she's like so funny..we were at yasi's house.playing with yasi's cute but fat chiwawa..the chiwawa is big okie..the biggest of all man...anne wanted to tell yasi that her dog is good..den she call for yasi...saying:yasi.....den yasi came...den anne say:good dog..man!!!!everyone laugh!!!is anne saying yasi a good dog?haha no la..anne is trying to tell yasi that her dog is a good dog..haha..and somemore abt teng hong..the sit up thing..ahhaa!!and jae..singing that jabez song!!haha..i love that song..and the 4 da tian wang..eating the food..haha..marvin lost to annie!!haa..i love my cg so much!!

i really missed christmas celebrationg lehz..can replay the drama?haha..prefer the part where jabez[bro zhisen] was singing that so touching wanna cry song...and i like the breakdancers...so li hai worz..hahah

hmm..im gonna study at the regional campus[simei ite] studying office skills..hee..well..i wanted tourism..but nv choose me..but my result can go in lehz..why nv take me!!!sigh nvm..office oso hai hao..sigh..

been eating chicken rice for many days..haha..im really a hainanese chicken rice lover haha..i love the chilli sauce and the rice..and oso the chicken..haha so yummyyy....the chicken rice at far east is much more nicer..but cheaper is my house downstair de haha!chicken rice taste delicious man..haha!yum yum..

new year is coming...i cant wait for the new year to come...cant wait to see and do what God has planned for me...haha!!

today i enjoy so much...i love my cg members...they are the best!!!love you all..

-fly-

Dear all..im finally back to blog!!finally..know why i so long never blog?coz..this jessie aka stm gal..forgot to bring the net bill for payment.haha!so got suspended..so now i've got back.ahah..so im back again!!haha..

during christmas eve..i've enjoyed loads manz..haha..went to the Singapore Indoor Stadium..ahah!had so much fun..the dramas...so funny..haha!and i brought along who???joanna!!my darling hhaa!!and ofcoz my cute cousin alice..im so glad that the both of them enjoyed so much that they wanted to come to join the church again!haha..then after service..we went down town..man..the place is sooooooooo messy..people are spraying things at each other..man..what has the world becoming to?they dirtied the place..just spray at people they dun even know..sighhhh...

spent my christmas with joanna darling together with amanda baobei..haha..and ting..haha..went to take neoprint again..haha..joanna..u owe me a meal for being late for christmas gathering..!!!haha!

this month...went to watch alot of shows..well not alot la..but..more then the usual..ahaha..went to watch shutter-not that scary..-seed of chuckywondering y i can watch worz..ahah..i look mature lahz haha!den..kungfu huster..so funny..den phantom of the opera...the show ah??eh..not bad la..some of my frenz fall asleep while watching..but i just watch loh..but that show..im not so interested in that la..just admire their way of singing..hahaha!!!

today went out with joanna..went to watch kungfu huster at lido..hha..today rainy day..sianz..bought earrings..haha i like...so nice..got one pink colour de worz.haha.went to esplanade to have dinner..haha..so full..

well that's all...

take care everyone..

-gOne-

im back.went to raffles city to work today.today was a bz day at Precious Thots.hmm..so many people come and buy gifts..well it's christmas haha..

nothing much happen..im just a little sad over my N level results..sigh.din do well..got 13point lehz.last year do much more better sia.sigh.well..im just gonna use my last year cert to go ite liao.sigh.more jian de liao ren..hahaz..

well..today im a very powerful person.living with just 2sips of water in the morning till nightime and no food in my stomach from morning till nightime.haha..am i powerful?haha!well im just mad lahz haha..i was so hungry when i reach home..all i can do was to ask my maid to cook maggie for me..hhaa..den...............

shar called me..sia la i tot i did something wrong..she sounded so fierce so serious.she said:jessie.where are u now?i got something to tel u.something very important.don't cry after i tel u.so i said.okie..wad is it..she said..we all are coming over to ya place de porridge to eat!!i was like....erm.........okiee...who are e we all?haha they are..jae annie mike and shar la.haha..den tok tok loh..i went down loh haha..shar so funny..make me tot i really did something wrong sia..

nothing to type into my blog..sianz..

christmas...christmas...can't wait for christmas to come...

goneeee

hello readers.hmm just got home from work.today went to work at campass point.sigh..so far can.but well.i don't really mind a lot lahz haha..

regarding that 2 sad sad entry i typed..i was real sad that time.had never been so sad before hahaz.but well..that time i made a wrong choice..i chose to run away from the problem..and i just want to be quiet.don't talk..just leave me alone..well that is obviously a wrong decision i made..and i even ignore my cgl.cant u believe it..she sms me..wanna tok to me..call me..i reject the call..sigh..im really sorry abt it..but well..tt time i almost went totally down...i really cant take it loh..sigh..i just gotta go through it..i know that this is a test..i don't want to be such a weak gal..i want to grow a level higher haha..in my spiritual walk..hee..

hmm..today work went fine..nothing is wrong haha..

christmas is coming....i love christmas....

[[ 16th December 2004 ]]

im back home.looking at my nai nai sleeping i feel at eased..at least i know she is there.

hanging around town today.getting bored everytime.town is so boring already.singapore is so small.i want to go other country.now...i wish to stay in taiwan forever.i don't want to live here..wad a pathetic place im in..at least my dad is there..i can do what i want and like..doesn't mean in singapore i can't..im just not a happy person here anymore..i've lost everything..i cant be who i used to be anymore..im beginning to hate myself..

but i had fun with joanna today.at least she will accompany me in this times..my words don't kill her..she knows me just too well..her words don't kill me..she don't use words on me..not even one word..she don't have those attitude when she is around me and i really love her to bits.as my dearly friend ofcoz.she listens..she understands..she knows..if she know she is wrong she will do something..but unlike some people..awwwwww that is such a sad thing right..awwww pooor people..

went esplanade..talk alot..my happy sad angry..all the suan tian ku la..i told her all..

people..learn to shut up.its wrong to tell people how you feel.just shut up kayz.

i don't wanna blow things up.i'll just step aside and do nothing.i'll no longer be me again...

you won by kicking me back into the sad well..thank you so much..

the pain in hell..it's so painful..

i guess you will never ever understand.you make my life worsen..you make me feel so lost..you make me feel im so useless..you make me feel im not good at anything..not even talking...

i can no longer hold on tight..i can no longer smile seriously..i can no longer do anything anymore..i know u are great..i know..but so what..you are great in anything..u are always ahead me..but so?

dirty ugly filthy words flashing in my mind.but i wanna to be a person of Godliness..but...i dunoo if i can ever be..

well..thanks to you..i've lost..you won..

the world is bad..i came from the word into the Kingdom of God but i met people that....sigh..no words to describ..its just so sad..

[[ a happy smile dosen't mean a happy heart..]]

[[ 15th December 2004 ]]

sometimes i wish i can make people around me happy.sometimes i wish my prescence won't make people feel bored.sometimes.....sometimess....

i would never like to feel sad.i would never want to feel sad.and i would never want to live a life that is full of suffering again..be it sadness,pain..or whatever.

what i do seems to be wrong.what i say seems to be wrong.so all are my fault.

sometimes living in this pathetic world make me feel so hurt.sometimess....sometimess...

no one is here..hello anyone there?no one..so quiet..............................so so so quiet....life is full of pain.yuck.

the world is so dark.meet so many people.with mask on their face.with different mood which seems to be like having moodswings everyday.

is life that bad?i thought life is full of happiness?or is it a wrong thought of mine?

is smiling a good thing?is friendly a good thing?is caring a good thing?well i think all are bad now.

i don't ask for payback.i don't want anything in return.i know it's always better to give than to recieve.but..sometimes i can't afford seeing the mood or whatever i received..sometimes....sometimess....sometimesss.......it just hurts me so much....

no use talking to me.i will listen..but you will feel that im just being sensitive..over-reacted..you will never understand how my heart feels...i never like to assume.i've recieved bad cannings if i assume..well that was my past..but things just go like this..i just assume..

i feel so bored.life is so miserable..am i just trying to be emotional?

my heart is broken..by the way people are treating me..does that show that im a weak person?

well..so i am a bad girl afterall.

don't be my friend..im a bad person..i always speak wrong words.im not a person with good words anyway....

im not a good counsellor..im just lousy am i right?

my words give people stress..so im not a person with good words..im not good at talking...well im just not good at anything don't you agree..

how would others feel if i were to show them how bad mood i am today?or did i ever shown them?

sometimes......sometimes....i just want to let go of everything.i don't want to think,do,hear,feel.can i just stop the time?im nothing..im a useless person.rubbish person..sometimess....sometimesss....

my eyes teared..my heart got stabbed..it was soooo painful...people says:jessie,you are being emotional here..

sometimes....sometimes...i have times when i feel sad down..feel life is so miserable..who can help me?my ans is..no one..not even my closest adviser...

i feel so sad..why?i don't know why..im just acting to be good..acting...i am a bad girl..

sometimess...sometimess..i want to dry up my tears..i want to stop tearing..the feeling of forcing yourself not to tear..it's so difficult..i can hardly breathe..

i don't want to hear anything.im a loner.i feel so bored..im alone..nothing seems to be fun for me..nothing seems to be interesting for me..closing myself in my room seems to be great..just staring and the computer...how i wish i can just sleep..

talking seems to be nothing already.i feel bored whenever i talk to anyone.talking is bad..so just shut up.

i have got to hang in there right?well..i tried..but i decided to give up.i don't want to do anything anymore.i give up..totally..

i know im not a perfect person.i may do things wrong some way or another.i may have attitude..but from what i know about myself..i don't show them out.i've learn not to show my feelings out..now i've learnt a new thing.just shut up.step aside.do nothing.

im imperfect.i may have a bad character..but i've change..for the better..but why i feel worse?being good to others make me feel so bad..from all the attitude i've got..it shows that being good is not a good thing also...

leave me alone.im a loner.im nothing.just jessie.im falling deeper into the sad well..how can i climb up?the one step i take to go up..someone will eventaully kick me down........................................

im not trying to be negative..i want to be positive in everything single thing i do.but everything turns out negative...............the ans is there..im nothing..

sometimes...i wonder who am i?i wonder what type of person i am?but now i guess i've found my answers to my wonders...im a girl with words that aint good enough..im a negative person..emotional person...now it seems so new to me..am i back to my past?i hate my past i hate everything i did in my past..i hate...the past door is welcoming me back there..i think i have fallen deeper into the sad well.....im drowned..do u understand how i feel now????well i guess you don't and you never will..i just feel so down...why am i like this?what have gotten into me?

a sad little loner with words that make people feel sad and emtional problem that will just cause others trouble..negative mindset....im nothing.

[[im not like that..but these days..people causes me to feel this way i am feeling now..noone knows..some try to know but still they don't know..noone understand me..or shall i say..noone knows jessie?]]

im lost but noone save me..im hurt but noone heal me..

...i don't want to do a thing..im a loser..nothing i do cheers people up..people come saying HUH!...CAPITAL words somemore.

slient night..lonely night..

sometimes..sometimes.....

goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............

whOOoooo finally im home haha!today work very far lehz..bishan sigh..nvm got $$ earn..haha..mmm..today my leg super pain lehz...stand for 9 an a half hours wor..haha..

today...serve a bapok transexual wan..sigh.."she"is soo soft-spoken..all the staff notice "her" all nv serve let me serve so i serve loh..afterall still human lai de..

the people in the shop..abit not friendly wan lehz..nv talk de..walk pass me oso nv smile abit sia..like treat me transparent..den onli one newcomer and me become frens haha..tt new comer super friendly lehz..but i forgot her name..i only know she from nyjc de..

working at precious thots is not so tough..haha i like the job..eventhough its tiring...which job not tiring lehz haha..today..my first time in this year sweep de floor leh...i good right..hee...i noticed i very long nv sweep the floor le hhaa..but sweeping the floor..quite fun haha!

anyway im tired..lazy to type..hee.. take care people!! tmr i off wor haha!!!

-gone-

dear all..im back..hee..today is my first day of work...but i tell u wad..i always meet wierd people...with wierd management planning...nv organise things properly..sigh y i always kana likdat de?hahaha...but well got money earn..this trouble...i dun mind going through..

know why i say they got wierd management planning..it goes like this,they told me to work at Great World City on the 13thdec..and just like e same..i wake up and dress very nicely there..took cab oso..and know wad..i reached there..everyone stared at me..like huh?how come u are here?so the person in-charge called lenny the overall in-charge..den they push faults to each other loh..sae not me loh is you loh..likdat worz..y i know they push fault?coz amanda sae hey dun push fault at me when u ask jessie to come on the 13 and its today..

den i was being ask to go over to paragon to work..so i go loh..but i tot i will be fixed there..sadly NOOOO!!!tmr i gotta go bishan!and its like so far loh..tt lenny still sae will post me to somewhere near my home...all fake words..den i will have to go raffles city...sigh....nvm...got money take nvm....i ren...hahaha

well today...work went fine..nothing wrong..just cant sit down and rest only..haha have to stand all the day..my whole body was in pain when i was working..haha..so i keep walking ard the place haha...admire all the precious moment figurines...haha so nice.....i love it sooooo much...they are just sooooo cute...i tell u ah..got ppl will really love them so much that they will compare the figures and give comments like this one the eye too small the face like drunk..this one like sleep too long face too plain den this one face like drink too much milk..this one look like ah lian..this wan colour nicer...waaa....so many comments wan..hahaha

today everything goes on well..nothing is wrong haha..tt all..haha i lazy to type le..take care people..

[love you guys]

here i am again..yesterday went for cellgrp meeting over at anne's place..we had a great meeting..ytd shar preached abt Godliness...and ofcoz i want to be a person who is Godly..haah..and wad does Godliness means?it means that i live for God and Jesus..and there's a sentence that caught my attention..it says:Do not let your anger goes down with the sun..hmm..den ytd..after cg..we fellowship..man...noticed that the cg has two groups of people..they are the ji zha gong and ji zha po..haha..we tok and tok for sooooo long haha..den jason show us the push up thing..waaa...jae..u very li hai lehz..haha..still got the snake type wan haha..den can hear le click crack sound of jae bone haha...jae ni lao le..bone bu zong yong..haha!!joking!!haha it was fun yesterday..miss cg sooo much...haha..

den xin er came over my place and stay..heehee..we chat very long..and when we are abt to zzz....something happen to me..guess wad...my stomach pain can...and is like pain like maDDDD...pain till i wear extra jacket and one more t-shirt..that t-shirt is to cover my stomach haha..my stomach was so pain till my hand got goosebump ahaha..so pain can..went to visit the toilet THRICE somemore...see how pain can it be...THRICE in less den HALf an HoUr lehz..haha..

den went shopping at orchard with xin er today haha..we took neoprints..!!!haha we are looking so great in the pictures..i just love it so much!!next time should take again haha..and use same machine ya?haha..well dun forget the machine name..it's KAREN..haha..after taking neoprints..we went to delifrance...wow..the place is crowded man....and the place is warm loh...sigh...too many ppl that's y..haha..den we ate beef bolognaise..wow...it taste delicious!!!guys..go try it...soooo nice can...now i feel like eating it again haha...but cannot eat too much...later will put on weight haha..

den after walking ard at takashimaya...i tired liao..but still can tahan haha...den xin er go and look for her sis at tangs while i go home haha..need to rest..tmr start work le..hopefully tmr i will make more frens...haha..hopefully i wun meet ppl tt hates me..haha..well..im oso not those re ren yan de ren..so...hahaa..

and i deleted my previous entry..coz shar tok abt blog..saying that we cannot use our blog as a prayer subsititude..so i deleted the entry..and that entry din have much nice words..it was all my anger..so not good..

well..tt all for now..haha...take care people..

im here again..just woke up..it's raining over at my place...then got shan tian and thunder..wad sia..scare me can the shan tian..im alone at home sia..sianzzzzzzz....y my life so lonely?but well..i still have God and my cgl..so no worries la..

im hungry lehz..house no food..only got cereal biscuit lehz..sad sia.haha..but i on diet la..so nvm..im listening to music..the same music im listening everyday..haha..its[kiss-because im a girl][3T-i need you][Nsync-laast christmas]...

these days..been feeling sad..restless..lazy..dunno why..ytd while talking to shar..i cried all out..telling shar i miss my gong gong..i cant stop missing him..but i know i gotta stop missing him..it's been so long le..but i still cant accept that he had already left me..wad can i do?i love him sooo much..i only have gong gong and nai nai with me..now my gong gong left me..nai nai is alone..left the both of us in the house together with the maid..wilson dun come home everyday as he need to serve NS..when he comes home..he will go out and play..ytd after church..i was rushing home just because i know wilson is coming home..i walk as fast as i can..but when i reach home..all i can smell is the cigratte smell..it's shows that wilson just left the house..and so i called him..he said"i'm not coming home today..i'm going out with my fren jerage"wad can i sae..i only sae okie..byee..

i was sad because i feel so alone...it's sooooooo alone...my house is sooooo super quiet..noone is there to pei me..talk to me..when gong gong is around he will be playing with me..and im so used to his coughing sound and dragging chair sound..now i cant hear anything..he already left me..totally gone le..i miss him so so so much...from the day at the burial till now...i have not go to the cemetry to see him..i miss seeing his face..massaging his hand..talking to him..i remember the day b4 he pass off...i was feeding him honeydew and water..he finish all the honeydew and the whole cup of water..tt was like wow it was so great..gong gong finaaly will finish eating something..know y..ever since gong gong got admitted to NUH he eat less den five spoonful each meal..how can his body take it..and i went to the hospital to visit him..i bought food for him..sweet and sour pork..sui dan and i forgot wad le..he eat some..eventhough it's not all..he still eat..he want me to feel happy tt he ate the food i bought..im happy that he ate the food..but wad sadden me was when i look at his eyes...the eyes look soooo yellow..his whole body is sooo yellow...it hurts me soooo much when i see him likdat..he dun talk to me anymore..the last day was when he was playing with me just few days b4 he went off..i miss hearing his voice...i regretted for tt day i did not sit by his bed and accompany him..i was watching tv...i tot he want to rest so i went to watch tv..i dunno if he did call for me..coz i cant hear him..i want to ask him if he did call for me now..i will go to him..but he is gone...i really want to see my gong gong..i miss him soooooo much....i miss his smile...the last smile was the day he played with me...the last time he called me meimei was that day we talked...i showed him the photograph of him my grandma and me my bro and dad...he rem me-when i was young-but not the me-now-he remember my nainai..he rem my dad..and i forgot abt bro..i want to hear him calling me again..but i know it's impossible..i myself dun want to be in this situation....but i just cant help it..i know i will be out of this situation soon...pls bear with me..

later im going for cgm..it starts at 7pm...cant wait to go..hopefully i wun see attitude sad dull face..

-gone-

heez..been back home for quite awhile le..hee..didn't want to blog actually..but well..nothing to do..so blog loh.haa..

today..woke up early to meet darren felicia and jun hhaa..go where?ahah Singapore Science Center..it was so fun!haha...we spent the entire afternoon there...till the time when science center gotta close down hhaa...saw so many thing..haha..like the smell of those stinky food..our heartbeat all tt...and..human body..den..play the simulater haha..so fun...scream scream haha...

went cozy bay with the same ppl haha..sat there the highest place..the atmosphere is soooooooo great..had fun chatting with them..they are so funny..and we played the zhong ji mi ma..haha..so fun...

well..tired day today...lazy to type le..

take care pplz..

hello everyone..hee just got home..from town hee..went shopping and then slack in town..today saw so many frens in town...haha...

sigh..just got home my nai nai cry..she sae she worried for me..scared i nv eat all those..sigh..she feel lonely..when she wake up and go to aunt's office..i will be sleeping..when i go out she reached home...when i reach home she watching tv while i stay in my room..we totally never talk much..sigh..i dunno wad to do..i really wish to spend more time with her..i cant wait to get my pay...i wanna bring nai nai out...nai nai says she always think of me..even when she is in aunt's office...all the day her mind is thinking of me...it hurts me so much when i see her crying..lying on the bed..crying..telling me her feelings..i went to hug her..i wan her to know that im here..i will nv leave her..i love my nai nai so much..i cant live a day without her..she was always with me by my side..taking care of me since young..

[im feeling so moody now.dun feel like talking and typing]

hi people..im back here again..i wanna share with you guys something..a problem whereby i was so shocked with...

on fri i was in the train to church..i received a phone call..from where?Precious thots..i was so happy..i cant wait to start work right away..and the person in-charge told me tt im starting work on sun..the 12th december..and i think she said 12th december from 12-10..but i mistook it as this sun the 5th december 12-10..and i happily wake up early and bathe and dress nicely and packed extra clothing coz i dun wanna be ppl to laugh at me again..i was wearing my fav pink top and my jeans and slippers there den i packed my black pants and brought along my covered shoe and sock la..den i bring comb and rubber band jus incase i gotta tie up my hair..and i even took a cab there..i wanna be early..so excited jessie went off to "work"!

i reach Precious Thots great world city..step in..and look at the person at the counter..i told her i am here to work..im jessie..and she call lenny..the overall in charge...and tok very long den sae..erm..u are suppose to work on the 12..not 5..i was like...deep in my heart i was so shock man!i check my phone calendar..i recorded it on the 12!!why i come on the 5??am i mad?sigh..den she gave me my schedule and im starting work on the 13th..sigh..i told joanna..she laugh..shar oso laugh..haha..i first time likdat..dunno wad happen to me...i cant believe that i can be so lagggggg....but shar sae im always late..so todae early good...i sae early?advance week..haha!

God..i pray that i will not be so blur...i will not be so forgetful..i even record the timing the day i should work..God i pray that you will guide me all the time..amen..
[SIGH]

went out with joanna and felicia ytd..we went to take neo prints..wow we are all looking so beautiful!!!joanna and felicia are new to each other..well i intro de okie haha!den we chit chat..tok tok tok..and walk along orchard..after tt we meet darren and ah jun..as u all can see...im short..felicia taller den me i think joanna tallest i think..can say tallest among the shortest!!!haha..den we crossing the road..darren cant see us..he sae we too short..haha..den we tok tok walk walk..went to esplanade for some drinks and chit chat..sitting by the sea..wow..so cold..ahha..the atmosphere is so great..den i was so thirsty..i ordered orange juice..i finished almost half..haha..then chit chat..tt ah jun got me so paiseh can..i just compliment a waiter saying he look handsome..but i told darren they all la..den ah jun ask the waiter to come..and then ask..can he have one more ice chocolate..den jun ask again..here got sell cigratte anot..i was like..pls lehz..we are at high class place..then darren sae u think u at those coffeeshop isit?haha..joanna and me laugh man..haha..den jun sae..anyway..this gal sae u very handsome...the waiter look at me..den i was like haha..haha...haha..den i dunno wad to do..i was just complimenting on a guy who look great!!nothing wrong wad..i oso compliment gals who look great ma..den jun think i like tt guy!!he is mad!!den ah jun sae he wan tt guy!i was like huH?u gay mehz?jun is mad...but well..jun is a great entertainer..den he keep saying he going army liao in chi[jin bing] he should not have said that..he should have said[dang bin]so he said [jin bing] i ask..so when [chu bing]?he reply..i forgot wad he sae la..den i sae..u can sae [jin bing]i will ask so when [chu bing] tt is dunno wad go buried thing la..u know...ppl die will chu bing wan..haha..den everyone laugh haha!!

ytd i was so scared and worried for joanna..coz is like..she had never and i mean NEVER been out till so late and the time is like 12+++going to 1..den i scared her papa and mama will locked her out..and scared she got scolded...cos really her first time can..haha..den..i faster take cab with her..den send her to her house downstair..den i took cab back to esplanade to continue...den reach liao..felicia gotta go..her papa call liao..so all go home..den i call wil..wil was at bugis celebrating birthday..today is my brother's birthday!!happy birthday kor kor..haha..den i bought lighter for him..very cutttteee wan..haha..den he like it alot..well smoker la..haa..that lighter can refill wan..but its not zippo..hahah...i was at the cafe...den wilson hugggggg me....arGHHHHHH first time sia...my brother hug me on his bdae..den i first time give him present haha!!i buy wan k..haha..i thank God for my bro...we both had changed...to be more loving to each other..care..love..share..help..so good...Thank God...den went to eat..and finally reach home ard 3++am ahaha!!together with the gf..haha

i tell u...i think my bro and i one of the kind..we zzz is like we king and queen...we will occupy the whole bed..i share room with bro..he in army so i queen of the room..so i put the single bed together..so my bro come back we zzz together la..den..ytd the gf zzz in the middle...so we both sqeeze her..haha i think he tio sqeezed so jia lat..she went to zzz on the floor!!!haha...im so sorry abt tt haha..

well think tt all for now..todae im blur man..cant take my lagness..sigh..and my forgetfulness...haha..

===gone===

hi my dear faithful readers!im home!!hmm..i just reach home worz..went birthday party and chalet yesterday..i was like rush here and dere..for the birthday party is really cannot dun go de.is must go want..den for chalet is also cannot dun go de..cant blame..im hao ren..darren ask me if i can accompany his gf in the chalet..so ask me to stay over..i cant believe it..its the first chalet that i ever attend with onli 4 ppl left in the chalet..and that includes me....the ppl are..ah jun..darren..felicia and me...2 guys 2 gals..but well we are okie with it..coz we are frenz for so long..few years liao haha!so we just tok and tok...eat and eat...and the guys very kind wan..cook food for us!haha..

then felicia and i just tok our gal tok in the room where there is just the both of us..share alot..i find that felicia is very friendly worz..haha!she shares her problems with me and im very happy that she is willing to tel me..like she got noone to turn to when she needs someone to tok with..she feel very depressed...i wan to be closer to her i dun wan her to feel so sad all the time..life is full of happiness...it is just that how u live your life..

and then we were like so full and bored after all the eating...haha..so we decided to go for bicycle ride..haha..the gals are always the very fortunate wan...so darren ride felicia and ah jun with me..haha..we are sitting behind them la..like as if ah jun and darren our driver-bicycle driver- haha..we just sit at the back and laugh and tok to the guys la..den..the guys are so tired becos of riding too long...so we jus da qi loh haha jia you jia you haha..jian fei!!haha we all laugh man!!it was so fun...

when we reach the bedok jetty..we rested..coz the two poor guys very tired haha!!their piku pain hahah!!den we all share one pathetic seat..so we were back to back with each other and tok..tok abt jokes ghost stories..and stars...wow ytd got alot of stars lehz!!!!jun was riding den i looking above e sky all the way...the stars are so beautiful!!!den we teased each other la...they are so funnie..eventhough the chalet left the four of us...we enjoyed alot...we are all laughing all the time..ahaha!!

den we decided to play game coz we were so bored..so we play 21 dian..not gamble la..den play bluff..haha ah jun dunno how to play den he keep losing..den darren use the same old trick..haha..put fake one first den put real wan haha..den ah jun blur blur go and open the real wan haha!!den take all the cards..we luff at him...somemore..loser have to eat food..and we were all so full haha!!den ah jun keep losing..so he gotta eat..and den..he sae[i cannot liao..u all ask me do wad i do..i dun wan eat liao]so felicia sae...okie..u act like glorila..and let us take a pic..and serve us drink..and ah jun did la..tt call ren du fu shu haha!!den we luff at him...haha..and he really look like glorila..haha!!we really had fun loh haha so funny the ppl haha!

oh..ytd i was at my fren birthday party..waa..i met my pri school fren..eh actually of pri sch wan..haha..but one is augustine..he changed alot..he is my pri sch..table partner..haha..maths very good..rem e time when i sae augustine..i dunno how to do...teach me..but well he din..he help me do instead..haha..den he always bring tissue to sch and i always take frm him haha!!but this guy here change alot..even in character..worsen?ahaha..see me one time after 4 years..somehow like me liao..is he mad?haha..but well i din care much ahha!this type of thing im not interested..r/s is nth..

ppl ask me..all the time..and i really mean all the time..why u dun wanna get attached..why?dun you feel lonely..feel insecure..feel..aiya this and that la..den i was like..firstly..i had nv think that i will feel lonely b4..after my last r/s 2 years back..after tt person who ask me..i feel quite affected and i keep asking myself dun i feel lonely?or wadeva..sometimes i really feel lonely..jus like others..wanna get attached all that..but i cant just do that.wan attach den attach..im not mad...think wan to start r/s so ez mehz..u like me i like u can be together mehz..have to think alot of thing wan..for me..i will think loh..can he take care of me..can he be able be there for me..is he a responsible person..this and that..alot of thing and that coz me to stay away from r/s...but i cant stop myself if i like someone else..even if i like this someone..we wun be together also..sometimes...it just hurts me so much..wan a bf but think better not...scared if he is not responsible...unfaithful..all that..alot..but well..im not afraid to sae that i have a guy whom i fancy..and its abt the 10th month since the first day i like him..but i wun wan to be together with him..and i think he don't even know how i feel abt him..we just sms..well..i dun mind jus being frenz..oso wun die ma..i would rather be frens with him..i just wan a frenship with him...liking him don't mean that he must be mine wad..well..somemore i dun think he is a christian..tt sadden me..haha..but well..if he is not..then he is not gonna be mine loh..sometime i really wish to let him know how i feel..but..i still wan the frenship..so i jus keep it loh..haha..i wun die oso..haha..i dun wanna lose a wonderful fren jus likedat..sigh..but well..no worries...i will not get attached de..after the last..im super hurt man..i might not wan a r/s....till i feel im able or i wan...but not now...eventhough my heart yearns for this person..but..cant means cant..to this person whom i fancy..sometimes it really hurts me when i think of you..well its seems like a routine already..everyday u will somehow crossed my mind..and i mean really everyday loh..i feel hurt everyday loh..i feel sad everydae coz of the way im missing u..but...i wun die..coz i still got ppl tt love me..haha!!God,my cgl and my frenz..i will still feel love!!is jus that..sometime wan to feel the love that i have not have yet loh..but well...tt isn't the time..and im patient enough to wait..haha!when u are not in singapore..i would even wonder..how are u doing..wad are u doing..i was like telling myself..wad sia...im mad man..haha..but...10month is not a ez thing..i do still struggle..but sometimes i might feel like crying..but..i tel u..i dun cry easily wan kayz..haha..so i'll just let it be...we will be frenz forever!

oh..back to the chalet..thank gym that jim went home..haha...

i gotta end here...entrryyy too long le..will lastly..i miss you..

==gone==

hello..im here again..hmm im so bored at home now so i decided to blog here..hmm..later im going back to novena to return my nametag..sigh..i cant believe that i actually forget to bring nametag along with me ytd..sigh..after returning the nametag..gotta meet yayi at bugis to get present for choonmei..today is her birthday..after going for her party...i gotta go to east coast for darren's chalet..really very sorry to darren that i cant accompany his gf to get the foodstuff..the time just couldnt click as i have to attend choonmei's celebration...

ytd was at the seminar..i was so awake at the seminar..cant believe it as it was like a 4 hrs bible seminar..and i just sat there and listen to wad pastor is teaching abt..the ANTINOMIANs.antinomianism...

haha know what...ytd i saw this guy.in our church..he is either from nyp or tp de..he is the xiao chao..haha..actually he dun look bad la..quite handsome looking..he is a breakdancer..wow not bad worz..haha..shar told me he is the xiao chao..i was like waaaa...really..waaa...so handsome..den shar whack my head haha!

jason pierced his ear haha..at least he look better..dun look so nerd liao haha!dun play play..ppl sergent lai de lehz...but ord liao haa!!

so bored lehz..arGHhgHH..-waiting for that precious thots to call me-sigh..they say will call me during the 1st week of dec but haven call me..sigh..well todae onli 2nd dae of dec haha!

three more days to wilson's bdae..wad should i get him..sigh..think i will only get him a belated bdae present..no money now..haven get pay sigh...

i dunno why i just miss my gong gong worz..i think of him everyday..i would even wonder if he's alive wad might he be doing now..sigh...i wan to see himmmmmmmmm....

[[i miss my dear gong gong so much.................]]